just saw a post accusing Obama of working for the government

(via dutchster)


I just want to date someone who likes pizza and Netflix. I want someone who likes music. Someone who enjoys fun and good things. Someone who uses the pointy end of a fork when they eat food. I want to date someone with a skeletal structure and a collection of internal organs that work together to maintain homeostasis.

(via oswinofoswald)


this is the weirdest job app i’ve ever filled out


won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth

(Source: 666clit, via clestroying)